Sorry to everybody who reads my site, i know i havent been around for ages however today i have had some time to think about what i really want to put down in words...
Since my girlfriend found out about Samantha i have had many conversations with her about various subjects and answered many questions (and also asked a few myself), One subject that keeps coming up is basically about trust.
Back before my GF found out i was thinking about how i could tell her my secret, i looked at the pros, ie advice, a friend, makeup tips etc... and also the cons ie she laughs at me then dumps me (oh and then tells everyone why she dumped me) hence why in the end i decided to not tell her and hopefully find a happy medium between boymode and girlmode.
In hindsight i know my gf is not nasty enough to do the latter however to use one of my own analogies "you dont poke yourslef in the eye with a fork just to see if the surgeon can return your sight" and i felt i couldnt take the risk, quite possibly selfish of me do you think?
t
me, i know that we just have to keep talking etc, dont get me wrong im not
saying i regret her finding out nor do i mind the questions (i actually
like having little chats) When she found out i remember saying that it was
the worst day of my life... I now realise that actually it was the best
day of my life because we are now closer than ever and i feel like our relationship
has had an injection of excitement! which is fun.
Im
not sure if she realised this but about a month ago she bought me some
new clothes from Next, She hung them up on my side of the room and surprised
me with them, I thought that was the nicest thought and it kinda sealed
the fact she is the girl i fell in love with and i feel lucky to be with
her, i know other tgirls have a nightmare with their partners and my heart
goes out to them cos im not sure i could cope with somebody looking sideways
at me all the time, let alone the person you live with.
So unfortunately the past few months i have been mega busy with work and have had no time for Samantha which has had a knock-on effect with my gf cos She found out my secret but then i kinda neglected Samantha for a few months and my gf is like 'why doesnt Samantha come out and play?' and its only cos whilst im busy in boymode being Samantha isn't the main thing on my mind. I have had times this summer where i've thought that it'd be great to get all dressed up and do something but im too knackered half the time.
Today
i woke up and felt like being pretty so i got dressed up and took a few
piccys but all the time i was thinking ' i wish my gf was home from work
to be with me and go out somewhere with'. We've been out round the block
together walking so far and she took me for a drive a few weeks back which
was great! We drove round Derbyshire for about an hour... She thought
i was bored even though i kept telling her it was great to be "2
foxy chicks in a car" lol, i really liked it and we took a few piccys
together and we went home and i got changed back to boy clothes but i
absolutely loved those few hours out together. She has given me her spare
makeup, she has been a real good friend and also my personal makeup artist
lol
The
oncoming months??? well hopefully now work has calmed down a bit i will
have the time to spend with my gf as Samantha. She is quite eager to go
out somewhere and meet other tgirls and partners, she is always checking
the ukangels forums out and chatting away to other partners but she wants
to have real friends to go out with. I kinda feel the same but am still
pretty nervous about going out on my own let alone with my gf and crikey
to meet other people is quite scary at the minute ... im thinking maybe
i just do one thing at a time for the time being.
anyway changing the subject a bit, how come my geustbook has dried up? come on folks show me some love :) sign the blog its what drives me to do the website:) EDIT: SO GUESTBOOK DEPOT ARE SHIT AND HAVE MESSED MY GUESTBOOK UP...JUST EMAIL ME YOUR LOVE INSTEAD :) X
Samantha xxXXxx